Always In My Heart Read online

  With a huge effort of will, he seemed to bring himself under control. ‘I fully accept that you’re a lively and courageous girl, but what makes you imagine you can resolve serious business problems?’

  Brenda took a deep breath. She’d been doing quite a bit of thinking lately, before Christmas when she’d been out and about seeking work, and in the weeks since when she was treated as a servant by Melissa just because she’d offered to help in return for accommodation. All of this anguish and worry had made her take note of her own skills. And needing to seriously consider her future, she’d decided that one thing she was good at, was baking.

  ‘You’ve readily accepted that I’m a good cook, so I wondered why you wouldn’t be prepared to offer me a job?’

  ‘Why should I?’

  ‘Because I’m young and a hard worker. Ask Mrs Harding, if you don’t believe me. I thought I’d offer to bake cakes and tarts for you. You could sell them to Kendal Milnes, Selfridges and other department stores. They are the ones with power. And as the war is over, you need to expand. Right now this business feels in the doldrums, and you seem to be turning into something of a stick-in-the-mud, as I believe your father was.’

  Hugh growled. Nobody had ever said such things to him before, or stood up to him in so bold a fashion. Who did this little madam think she was? He gave a snort of disbelief, bending his head so close she could smell the intoxicating scent of his male skin, and the soap and aftershave he’d used, so like Jack’s. ‘What makes you imagine you have the right to become involved in the family business?’

  ‘As Jack’s widow, why shouldn’t I work here?’ she tartly responded. ‘I’m prepared to put some effort into helping to improve things because I’m in dire need of a job and a good future.’

  ‘Yet you know nothing about running a business. Few women do.’

  ‘Absolutely not true. The war has taught us women a great deal: how to be strong and independent, brave and skilled. You’re living in the past if you refuse to accept that, a view that is completely out of date.’

  ‘You’re also an imposter, so why would I be stupid enough to accept such an offer?’

  Brenda glared at him, deeply hurt to the core of her that he could make such a callous comment, particularly after they’d got on so well this last day or two. ‘An imposter? Is that how you still see me? A fraud and a liar. So what will you charge me with next? Like it or not, I was married to your brother, and will prove that very soon. Lord, you really are a nasty piece of work. Just like your bloody father.’

  Having heard enough, he marched to the door and flung it open. ‘Get out! I’m not standing here to be preached at by some greedy little brat.’

  Brenda left without another word, the crush of defeat almost too much to bear. It had been naïve of her to make this suggestion, but she’d so looked forward to a future working with this man. Now all hope and optimism was drained out of her. Of course, it might have helped if she’d kept a better hold upon her own temper.

  *

  It was a great relief when a few days later she received the letter she’d longed for from the solicitor’s secretary, asking her to call. She gladly caught the next train to Castlefield, very much feeling the need to escape. This time the secretary looked flustered, and kept glancing over her shoulder as if she knew the solicitor was listening so had to be careful what she said.

  ‘I’m afraid we have not managed to get the necessary paperwork to prove your marriage, Mrs Stuart, or are ever likely to do so. It has proved to be entirely impossible, since buildings and archives have been bombed and documents destroyed. Nor have we any word of your son. There’s nothing more we can do to find him, and have discovered no evidence about where Camille’s cousin might now be living. She too has disappeared. Our investigation has come to an end.’

  Bleakness grew within her as Brenda listened to this dreadful news. So after all the searching she had gone through over the years, and the questions these lawyers had asked, this was the end of the road. Her heart plummeted. Her future seemed to be completely blank and without hope. And following the row that had taken place between herself and Hugh, she had no desire to return to Trowbridge Hall, much as she loved Saddleworth. Prue was still away and Melissa and that stupid husband of hers were currently in residence. Nothing would induce her to be yet again treated as a servant, or be pawed by that dreadful man. What a family they were! All the lovely kind members of it now gone.

  Returning to her flat, she locked the door and sat at the kitchen table with her head in her hands, quietly sobbing in despair. It felt as if her life was over, and she had no reason to go on. Loneliness and despair overwhelmed her. Valiantly pulling herself out of this sorrowful depression, Brenda wrote to Emma to explain what she’d been told. How she wished her friend was here with her, as only Emma could properly understand what she was going through.

  Days later, Cathie suddenly called in with the news that she’d found a job at the Christmas card factory. Brenda blinked at her in shock. Could this be the answer? What did she have to lose by giving it a go? Grabbing her coat from the hook behind the door, she ran round right away. Her aim now must surely be to work hard and keep busy, if only to get her through each day.

  ‘I’ll come with you while you go in and ask,’ Cathie told her, waiting outside with little Heather, her niece.

  Brenda was thrilled to be offered a job, and the two old friends did a little jig on the pavement. Perhaps life would start to look up a little, at last. This new job would at least pay the rent, and might give her the energy she needed to make more long-term, tough decisions about her life.

  She returned at once to Trowbridge Hall to collect her possessions and inform Hugh that she would be leaving for good, thanks to her friend Cathie having found her a job in the Christmas card factory. The dismay on his handsome face was electrifying.

  ‘I’m aware that we had a disagreement, but there’s really no need for you to go forever,’ he said. ‘You are most welcome to stay here as long as you wish, or come and go as you please.’

  Brenda could smell the exquisite scent of bluebells. The hens were pecking about in the grass, cows mooing in a nearby field, and a part of her longed to stay. But to do what? More washing and cleaning, and waiting hand and foot upon Melissa whenever she appeared? Not to mention fighting off her bastard of a husband.

  ‘Sorry, but it’s too good an opportunity to miss. I need the money.’ Not least to continue her search for Tommy. ‘Prue has written to say she’ll be returning soon. Until then, I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone else to work in the house and garden.’

  Giving him a polite little smile, she turned to head to her room and pack. Later, she wondered if she really had heard correctly when he quietly remarked, ‘I’ll miss you.’

  Twenty-One

  Prue felt so happy now that they were married. They had spent the winter in Ramsey, Dino working with the fishermen. In February she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. They called her Flora, her full name Floriana in Italian, which seemed quite appropriate as they were both garden-loving people. How thrilling it was to have a family of her own at last, and to have succeeded in helping the man she loved to be released. When Flora was three months old the time seemed to have come for them to return home, not least because Prue was feeling homesick. Dino was also eager to visit his own family, which he did, taking his new wife with him.

  What a delight it was to see his mother’s tears of joy as she embraced her son and new grandchild, a shining light of pride in his father’s eyes.

  ‘Are you sure you want to come back to Trowbridge Hall, or would you prefer to stay here in Ancoats?’ Prue asked him as his parents bustled about preparing a meal for them.

  He shook his head. ‘No, cara mia. I have no wish to live in a city ever again. I need the open air. Besides, according to my father, the number of Italians now living in Ancoats is about half what it used to be. Most of the people I knew have left. Even my parents are retiring to the suburb
s. The community is attempting to re-establish itself and businesses are rebuilding, but it’s not an easy task as people are nervous of being attacked. The anti-Italian attitude is still strong in some areas. They didn’t even dare to carry out the Italian Whit-Walk procession, and that was always so popular. We too may suffer problems, of course,’ he gently warned her.

  ‘Despite the ban on fraternisation having been lifted before Christmas?’

  ‘People have their own opinions on what is right and proper. They don’t always listen to politicians, lawyers, or even the Church.’

  ‘Then whatever prejudice we are faced with, we will cope with it together, darling, and with great tolerance. I’m sure we’ll win people round eventually.’

  ‘I agree. And we’ll never allow ourselves to be parted ever again.’

  ‘Never!’ she said, falling into his arms as she so loved to do, and they began making plans.

  Dino was proved to be right when a few days later a stone came flying through the window of the cottage, scattering pieces of glass everywhere, causing them to jump up from their cosy clinch on the sofa. He ran outside to find the culprit but could see no one.

  ‘I’m sure things will calm down,’ she assured him as they locked all doors and boarded up the broken window. ‘Although it might take a while. I shall speak to Hugh about our future, which I admit won’t necessarily be easy.’

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ Dino said.

  ‘Perhaps it would be better if I talked to him first, sister to brother.’

  ‘You may need some support.’

  She agreed that her brother was in many respects a solemn, taciturn man. ‘He is a bit strung up with problems of his own, although thankfully not as bad as our father was. At heart he is a kind and caring man. Once he’s been won over,’ she added with a wry smile. ‘I will carefully explain how we battled for your release and finally managed to get married.’

  Dino looked unconvinced. ‘He might be angry because you stayed away so long, and married without his knowledge or permission.’

  ‘Why should I ask his permission? I’m over twenty-one, and a modern woman. I don’t need looking after or to be dictated to by him. He is not my father.’

  ‘You know why, because of his prejudice against enemy aliens. You also robbed your charming sister of the pleasure of being able to buy a new hat to show herself off in church,’ he said with a grin.

  Prue giggled. Put like that, it did sound a bit funny. ‘I suppose I should apologise to them for being terribly selfish and getting married far away from home. On top of all the other disappointments he’s suffered, Hugh may be quite cross that he didn’t get to come. Not that he expressed any interest in giving me away,’ she admitted.

  ‘All that matters is us,’ Dino told her, giving her a kiss. ‘We are happy, and it’s our life, not Hugh’s.’

  ‘Quite right, darling, and I love you so much. I just feel the need to apologise for his unwelcoming attitude towards you.’

  ‘That is not your responsibility. Besides, being in love means you don’t have to keep saying you’re sorry,’ he told her with a smile.

  ‘What a lovely thought,’ she said, sinking into bed with him to make love. Prue made a promise to attempt to put things on a much better footing by describing to her brother the wonderful time she’d had in the Isle of Man, and what a lovely man Dino was.

  *

  ‘So you’ve wed the fellow, after all,’ Hugh grumpily remarked when she went to speak to him in his study first thing the next morning.

  ‘I’m delighted to say that Dino married me the moment he was released, and yes, we’re so happy. Isn’t that wonderful? And here is your lovely little niece,’ she said, placing the baby in his arms.

  Hugh looked so startled, his shoulders became quite stiff and rigid. ‘Oh, my goodness, not sure I know how to hold a baby,’ he said, lifting the child awkwardly in his outstretched hands. But looking down at the curl of her eyelashes and her blue eyes gazing up at him, he seemed to melt and relax, tucking her closer and cooing softly to her. ‘Oh, she looks so sweet.’

  ‘She’s a love. Say hello to little Flora.’

  ‘Hello, little Flora. She’s beautiful.’

  Relieving him of the baby before he did something foolish like drop her, Prue tucked her back into the pram and then addressed the problem that was occupying her mind. ‘As you will appreciate, it’s quite common for PoWs not to want to stay indoors or in confined spaces, so Dino has no wish to return to the city. He feels much happier working out in the open, and spending his free time walking over the hills. You should be able to sympathise with that, since you love that sort of lifestyle too. I was wondering if you would agree to our renting one of the farms belonging to the estate. Are there any available?’

  ‘Not that I’m aware of,’ he said, looking slightly taken aback by this request.

  ‘Then could we perhaps take charge of this one?’

  ‘Why on earth would I allow you to do that?’ he scornfully remarked.

  ‘Because I’m your sister, and you love me, yes?’

  He flushed crimson. ‘Of course I do, but the trust set up by our father leaves the farm and business to his eldest son, and with Jack gone that means me.’

  ‘I’m perfectly aware that Papa always ignored we girls, and his wife, but I was hoping you would be more generous-hearted. Besides, you surely have enough to do running the biscuit factory. And old Joe can’t cope on his own forever. Both Dino and I love farm and garden work. So what is your problem?’

  ‘I’ll think about it and let you know,’ he mumbled, looking slightly confused.

  ‘Dino would very much like to speak to you on the subject, and to discuss his thoughts and plans for the farm. May he come round later?’

  ‘Not until I’ve had time to consider all the implications and gone over the finances of the estate.’

  *

  ‘I could have smacked his face,’ Prue told Brenda when her friend came on a visit the next weekend to welcome her home. It felt so good to see her again, and she seemed to find this remark so amusing she burst out laughing.

  ‘Your brother is a confusing sort of chap. One minute very friendly, the next immensely domineering, and so slow to make a decision.’

  ‘I know, not at all the relaxed person he used to be.’

  ‘Perhaps because he doesn’t think through what he’s saying carefully enough,’ Brenda suggested. ‘No doubt caused by the anxiety he’s suffering over business problems, which he insists on keeping to himself. Or else the rules made by your father live on in his head.’

  Prue gave a resigned sigh. ‘That wouldn’t surprise me. But I can’t bear the thought of giving up this land, which I love. Why would I wish to? Were Jack, who should have inherited the estate, still here, I’m sure he’d have no objection to Dino and I staying on and sharing the work with him. It would matter to him greatly that we were in a position to build ourselves a good future together.’

  ‘I’m quite certain he would do everything he could to help,’ Brenda softly agreed. ‘Sadly, brave Jack is no longer with us to put forward his point of view. But hopefully, Hugh will come round to seeing the logic and fairness of your request. I too am concerned for my own future. According to the lawyers, I may never find the necessary papers to prove that my marriage to Jack did exist and was entirely legal. They’ve called an end to their enquiries.’

  ‘Oh dear, I didn’t know that. Can’t you ask them to keep on trying?’

  Brenda shook her head. ‘I’ve already tried that. They’ve closed the case, claiming there’s nothing more to be done. As a consequence I’m fully aware I won’t be granted a penny from Jack’s share in the estate, despite the will he made. But with the war over and apparently no hope of finding my son either, I really need to think through my future most carefully.’

  ‘I see. You have my deepest sympathy. We’re doing the same.’

  ‘The fact is, I’m a bit bored with working at the Christmas card fact
ory. It isn’t a permanent occupation, more of a summer job, but I was thankful to my dear friend Cathie for finding it. She has always been very supportive, as I have been of her. She lost her sister and loving her niece as she does, wanted to keep her, even though her fiancé did not agree, so she was badly in need of employment too.’

  Brenda used to be more than happy to baby-sit for Cathie. Now she found herself avoiding little Heather whenever possible. She kept experiencing a great desire to pick the little girl up in her arms and run off with her, which wouldn’t at all be the right thing to do. She also felt the need to avoid Melissa’s son whenever the family was visiting, although he would constantly come looking for her, and the hens, of course. This feeling must have something to do with the fact that all hope of finding her own child had gone completely.

  And she felt wickedly jealous of the new relationship Cathie had achieved, and of Prue too. Why couldn’t she find the love that she so longed for? Not that any relationship with Hugh would be sensible, she warned herself, even if she did find him attractive. He was her brother-in-law and not an easy man to get on with. So as all hope of love was now gone, creating a new life for herself was absolutely essential.

  ‘I’m sure Cathie and I will remain friends, even if I leave the card factory. I feel the need to do something different and more positive. Remember how we once made a pact to help each other rebuild our lives?’ she reminded Prue. ‘Well, a new beginning feels even more important now.’

  ‘To me too.’

  ‘An idea has popped into my head in recent weeks, which I shared with Hugh,’ Brenda said, and went on to quickly explain how she’d offered to widen the market of the biscuit factory to help improve its profits. ‘Unfortunately, he wasn’t interested. However, I’m still keen on the idea so I’ve decided to start my own baking business instead. I’ll need to speak to the bank manager about a loan, but hopefully that will be possible. What would you say to joining me on the project? Not necessarily with the baking, although you’d be most welcome to do that if you wished. Otherwise, you could supply me with some of the essential ingredients: milk, eggs, fruit and vegetables, whatever you can.’